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rockin' kitty

On one hand...

Today I get to see Larry. I am really really happy about that. I miss him when I am not with him. Now he tells me that he loves me all of the time. But today is the day that I have to say good bye to Audrey for a week. I wish that I would never have to say good bye to her. I miss waking up next to her in the morning and seeing her sleeping face. I miss picking her up from school and she says, "MOMMY!!!" and runs up to me and hugs me. That alone always gives me a heavy heart on the Friday I have to let her go.

So I will try to cheer up now...

Tonight hopefully the weather will be nice, so that Larry and I can go riding. It will be nice to see Candace who I miss when I don't get to see her too. And I will get to cook most of the nights and get to sit down at a table and eat dinner with the kids.

It's really weird... The night I was over at my mom and dad's my mom asked me if I get jealous with Larry because he lives so far away... I told her that I didn't. I was insanely jealous with Sean. I feel relieved because I am not that way with Larry. I don't know why... Maybe the demons are behind me. I am not insecure about a relationship anymore or feel like I have to try super hard to please someone. I don't know why. I think the only thing I worry about with Larry is that he will get hurt on a job or when he is riding his bike. And that's just because you worry about the people that you care about. But as far as me worrying about him being angry with me about stuff or anything like that... I don't. I am at peace with him. He tends to bring out the good in me. I don't know. I just know that I don't feel as bitter about things now. I don't feel the hate that I felt for so long anymore. And I don't feel the pain that I felt for so long either.

There is one thing that is bugging the shit out of me... But it's so little. This girl at my school asked me if she could use my cel phone to call Sprint one day. Now she asks me all of the time. Not only that, but yesterday she had my phone for almost an hour. So today I am not going to let her use my phone or anything like that. I am not going to let her have it... I am just going to tell her no and explain to her that my cel phone is my phone. I don't have a land line... So my phone is it, you know? Yesterday she even asked me if she could see if anyone called for her!!! I told her that I didn't answer my phone or check my phone until the end of the day. She got upset. SHE GOT UPSET WITH ME OVER *MY*PHONE!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? It's funny, I guess. And it's my bad for letting her use my phone... Oh well, lesson learned...

Today i think I have a mock board test on facials... I bought all of my supplies... I think I am ready. Facials are pretty easy. They just want to see how you set your table and how you wash your hands and stuff.

I did find the back dorr key!!! Now I can lock my back door and not worry about getting locked out again.


rockin' kitty

June 2007

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